Spiritual Freedom
Last Monday, I woke up after a nap to find the pope’s comments confirming that the Catholic church will not bless same sex unions because it considers them to be a sin. Every time this kind of message is promoted, it is a punch in the gut.
I wrote something quickly, especially for the queer community who are or have been Catholic, although I think it applies to all of us. I posted it on Facebook and Instagram. And then it took on a bit of a life of its own being shared over 130 times, mostly by people I don’t know, the magic of the FB algorithm at work. Perhaps it will also strike a chord with you or someone you know. This is what I wrote.
This one is for my queer family who are Catholic. Your love is not a sin.
Your love is a gift from God, from the divine, holy energy that weaves this amazing universe we live in, from whoever or whatever you understand to be the thing that is bigger than all of us.
No one is empowered to serve as the gatekeeper for the divine. No one gets to pass judgement on your humanity and your divinity.
You do not have to wait for a church to learn to love you. You do not have to settle for crumbs while others have a feast.
Pull up a chair to the great gathering table of love where all are welcome, and feast on the love and celebration of who you are in all of your fabulous glory.
You are loved beyond measure by the holy one.
Your unions are blessed.
You contain multitudes.
You belong to the family of life.
And I love you.
People tend to tell me their stories. I have listened to story after story of people who have been wounded by religious institutions and congregations. For some it is outright rejection for who they are, for others they get lured into an “all are welcome” congregation, only to find out that “all” doesn’t actually mean all. For some it is being publicly humiliated by a congregation for “living in sin.” For still others it is being told that the way you choose to practice is wrong, the way you express yourself is wrong, the questions you ask are wrong.
There is a particular violence in this rejection that is deeply damaging. Not only is the humanity of these loved ones being questioned and denied, but the rejection by religious leaders who set themselves up as gatekeepers for God can deeply wound people’s perception of and relationship to the divine. Many people leave questioning the very possibility of spiritual connection. This is spiritual violence, and it is not reserved for just the queer community.
Queer or not, many of us have had experiences with religious institutions that have led us to question and ultimately leave. For many of us, this has impacted our spiritual path and connection with the divine. When we have walked away from religious institutions, we might have walked away from any relationship with the divine. But this isn’t the only way. You are free to create a spiritual path and a connection to the God of your understanding, the universe, your guiding force, however you understand the thing that is bigger than all of us.
This was my story too. After being born to a minister, being brought up in churches and with a deep respect for religious traditions, studying religion in graduate school, and spending many of my adult years trying in vain to find a place in my religious tradition for me, I left sad, angry and alienated. Eventually I was able to see the gifts of the various stops on my spiritual journey and carry them forward in gratitude, while I let the rest fall away. I found the freedom to create my own path.
Look back at the message above again and, queer or not, read it as addressed to you. We are beloved spiritual beings who have the right to create a spiritual path that nourishes and sustains us. And I believe that our spiritual paths and practices are dynamic and evolving.
I’d love to hear from you if this resonates. I’m developing offerings for people to reclaim and recreate their spiritual path in a way that works for them now. While I offer big permission and space for you to discover your own path, I do not offer prescriptions for what that path should be. There are many, many paths, and I want to empower you to create and follow one(s) that resonate for you.
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